Pastichio

The ultimate Greek comfort food. To avoid conflict, it is best to buy pastichou noodles at the Greek store. They are long tubes, the length of a string of spaghetti but much thicker and hollow in the center, like a bucatini. If they are not available, you must risk a compromise. Papou used ziti, which is hollow but short. Yia Yia used thick spaghetti, which is long but solid. This minor difference of opinion led to the historic Noodle Wars of 1982-96. Ultimately, the conflict was resolved by the discovery of authentic Miska brand pastichou noodles at the Greek store. Phew.

Ingredients:

• 1 lb. pastichou macaroni
• 1 medium onion, finely chopped or grated in a food processor
• 2 lbs. chopped beef (or 1 lb. beef / 1 lb. lamb)
• 1 tbsp Cinnamon
• A little All Spice or Clove
• 1 small can of tomato paste
• 4-6 eggs
• 1 quart of milk
• 1/2 stick of butter
• 3 Tbs. flour
• Lots of (at least 8 oz. +) grated cheese (parmesan, romano and/or mizithra)
• 3 slices yellow American cheese, or 2 Kraft Old English slices (if they still make them)

Directions:

1. Boil noodles and drain.
2. Take out the orange pastichou pan.  If you don’t have it, then you can’t make pastichou.  You can, however, make pastitsio, which is the same recipe but made in a lasagna pan, about 9″ X 15″ X 2.5″.   Unfortunately, pastitsio in a lasagna pan is not the same as pastichou in the orange pastichou pan, no matter how many times your mother insist that it is.  Get it? 
3. Brown meat and grated onions in a large frying pan. Cook over medium heat until the water boils off (or pour it off when the meat is fully cooked). Add salt, pepper, spices and tomato paste. Cook slowly until dry and don’t try to speed it up because you may burn the meat.
4. Layer half of the noodles in the pastichou pan. Layer all the meat on top of the noodles. Sprinkle with a layer of cheese. Layer the rest of the noodles on top.
5. Make cream sauce by browning butter in large sauce pot. Quickly whisk in the flour to make a roux. Add 1 quart of milk all at once stirring constantly with the whisk. Continue cooking stirring constantly. Add 2 slices American cheese and 8 oz. grated cheese until melted and blended through. Taste. Decide it is not cheesy enough. Add third slice of American cheese.
6. Beat the eggs in a blender. With the blender on low, add a ladle-full of the warm sauce slowly in a steady steam to avoid cooking the eggs.  Keep the blender on low and continue to add the sauce until filled to the top.  If there is still more sauce in the pot, you can stir the blender contents directly into the pot to finish mixing it all together.
7. Pour the blended cheese sauce all over the macaroni in the pan. Shake and poke to allow mixture to reach bottom. Sprinkle with grated cheese.
8. Bake at 350° for 25-30 minutes until browned on top. You can try to brown it under the broiler but be very careful not to burn the top. 
9. Let it stand for 10-20 minutes before serving, to allow the sauce to set. Stand over the pastichou the whole time, with a wooden spoon, to smack the hand of anyone who tries to pick the crunchy brown noodles off the top.

When indulging in this dish, stretchy pants are recommended!